Really.

This week was tough.  Not because of the "plan" necessarily, but work has been very challenging of late and getting up enough energy after being bombarded with crap all day was not always easy.  I only missed two days of walkies though so that's pretty good and I've taken up yoga again which is also very good.

So here's a question:  Work is 8.5 hours of emotional warfare sometimes.  I deal with co-workers who are in all senses of the word gigantic bullies.  I am constantly waiting for an outburst.  I come home after my day and honestly have absolutely no energy whatsoever.  What gets you off your butt and out the door?  I've had days in the last couple of weeks where all I can do when I walk in the door is curl up on the couch and stare at the TV.  Thank goodness for pre-packaged salads because that's about all I have energy for.   Honestly?  I'm even more thankful that I've taken this on at this time because all this healthy living has given me WAY more energy.  I can't imagine how I'd be coping without feeling that much better in general.  Oh I remember... I'd be drinking a bottle of wine a night.  Yeah, that didn't really work that well for me either....

The upside to all this is that I've kept fairly close to the food plan during all this.  I've not overeaten in a long time, kept my portion sizes under control and made sure I get a good balance of proteins, fiber, carbs and lots and lots of fresh fruit and veg.  I've had a few indulgences (*cough* baked brie with tomato jam OM NOM NOM) but even that was a handful of multi grain crackers and the brie (omg nom nom nom).

The even bigger upside has been that the chronic heartburn that I endured every day to the point where I was taking 4 or 5 Tums a day has all but disappeared.  I get the occasional sour tum but NOTHING compared to the gut burning acid reflux that required medication that used to plague me.  Score another point on the "feeling better" side of this whole experiment!  I've even noticed that my stomach has shrunk to the point where I get fuller faster and can't do the whole "shovel food in until you are ready to burst" thing any more.  I had a beef and been burrito yesterday and I couldn't even finish it (made by me, all natural ingredients, extra lean ground beef and my own mix of spices so low in sodium TARA).  This is all making me feel way more in control of things and reinforcing the knowledge that I am the master of what goes in the machine.   I CONTROL THE MACHINE!!!!  <cue insane laughter>.

So back to my original question - what is your motivation when you are so beat down that you are physically numb?  When you just don't have it in you to pull it together and get moving?  Even with having all this extra energy, I'm still dragging by 4 PM.  Because I really need help in this area right now.  Really really really need help.  Really.